What is pain? French bread!

Remember the Titans is on. Again. And you know I'm loving it as it's the perfect motivator to keep me cleaning. I think it was my mom who told me (and I know I've heard it somewhere else) that the level of cleanliness of your home is representative of the chaos in your life. While I don't think this is totally true (sometimes I know I just get lazy) it is true right now. My life and my room are on the verge, not quite the verge of disaster but kind of close. They're manageable but far from perfect. I think I'm almost done decompressing from the mess of finals and school ending because today I finally looked around and realized that I've gotta do something about the state of things. I actually have the desire to work on stuff that is fun rather than the stuff I need to do to get by. So, tonight I clean. I cleaned out the trunk after the road-trip-flat-tire disaster. I'm majorly cleaning my room. Actually purging is more like it. Old magazines? Out. Old shoes? Out. Winter clothes still hanging in the closet? Out... and into the drawers. It feels good. Cathartic even.

Congrats if you have made it this far. I just wrote a whole post about cleaning, wow I'm exciting. Understandably there won't be any pictures that go with this post. I promise a massive catch-up post soon with lots of pictures. In the meantime how about a picture of some of the friends who have helped me survive the last month or two:

Eleven Twelve!

A few things on my mind today:

• Why, oh why, is the one grade I'm most worried about the only one that isn't posted yet?

• I should have worn different shoes today. And maybe some pants. Ouch.
  

• Today at work I ran a teleprompter. In Spanish. I'm not going to lie, I ended up being pretty good at it. It was more intense than I expected, the mouse that controls the speed was ultra sensitive and, well, the words were in Spanish.
  

• The Gilmore Girls are back in my life. Thank you no more school!
  

• I can't wait for the next Zipper ride.

• I am still decompressing from school and finals week craziness. I know for a fact that I never want to do another group project again. Never. Now I'm busying myself with trying to decide what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Or at least the next year of my life. Not surprisingly, this decision is stressing me out. I hope that once I've decided the stress will go away but I'm worried that I'll just keep stressing about whether or not I've made the right decision.
  

One down, two to go!

Sweet:

Driving with the windows down on a warm summer day.

A different kind of sweet:

Driving behind a cattle filled semi with the windows down on a warm summer day.

Odd

I just walked out of what should hopefully be my final class of my undergraduate degree so why does it feel like an ordinary day?




PS - Won't it be embarrassing if I didn't pass one of these classes and had to go back? Ha, fingers crossed!

I can make it!

Kettle. Butter. Marshmallow. Teacher in the upper right.

Have you ever tried marshmallow popcorn? On a party-snack run I found some and decided to try it because it just sounded so odd. It was delicious.

Forty-five-ish minutes until class is over.

A different kind of vampire weekend...

This was one of the funniest weekends in recent memory:

Did you witness Heather and I's total breakdown by the end? We could not stop laughing.

Let's take a good look at that last picture...


Other highlights of the night included:

I can see what's going on

I'm feeling kind of random, this is a "where I'm at" kind of post inspired by Jess.

Emotion: unsettled

Book: textbooks! the next real book that's waiting for me is Water for Elephants by Sara Gruen

Album: "i love JALS" mixed CD from Heather. i'm too scattered to commit to one actual album right now

Songs: "Walking After You" The Foo Fighters, "The Fear You Won't Fall" Joshua Radin, "Violet Hill" Coldplay, "The Hat" Ingrid Michaelson, "Jen's Song" Benton Paul, "Tie the Rope" The Format, "Memory" Armchair Cowboy

Fear: not finding a good internship, not pushing myself hard enough, settling for something less than great, not living up to my potential

Frustration: guys, work, school. so many current frustrations.

Happy: more time with friends and shaved ice

Wish: to know where I'll be in life 6 months from now

Resolution: to get in an actual workout routine. always a resolution

Phases: working my way back into a curly hair phase, being outside again, late night summer hang outs, traveling

Food: breakfast sandwiches at all times of day

Desire: having a plan for the next 6 months and then going on a relaxing tropical vacation

Bad Habits: procrastination and staying up way too late

Advice: "Forget yourself and go to work." - GBH

Websites: facebook, blogs, gmail, flickr

Drink: cherry limeaids

Changes: school coming to a close, a possible move for an internship, personal life changes

TV Show: always "the office" and currently re-watching "arrested development"

Down at the farm

Since I didn't have to work today I went to hang out with my friend, Corinne, who works at Thanksgiving Point. (There are so many cool things to do at Thanksgiving Point. Next I want to check out the gardens, I hear they're amazing.) I was there to help Corinne teach kids how to garden but I couldn't resist the farm animals. I also learned that I would like to have a job where I get to drive a golf cart.

How beautiful is the white peacock? Also that goat in the bottom left is only a week old. So cute. There were also these chickens:

Let me just say that I hate chickens with a passion. We had some one summer when I was growing up and they were a pain. Everyday my step-brother and I would come home from school find that they had escaped. We would have to chase them back and lock them up again. They were dirty and stinky and gross. Ew. But that chicken? He made me pause for a moment. I actually considered stealing him beacuse he was so oddly fluffy and cuddly looking. Gross, I know.

Odd Confession

So I was just noticing that I always close my eyes when I make a wish. I'm a big wish-maker I suppose, whether it's throwing change in fountains, blowing out candles, reading chain emails*, going through tunnels, or just whenever. I always close my eyes. Is that like a rule of wish-making? Does it make it more likely to happen? If I squeeze my eyes more tightly shut does that make it even more likely?

*Maybe this is two confessions but I totally make a wish when an email forward tells me to, even though I don't believe them or forward them. Always.

Still here!

Don't give up on me yet! I'm still running around. Life has been pretty intense lately with work, school and the good ol' personal life.

But!

Only seventeen more calendar days of classes left! I'm simultaneously thrilled and terrified by that. I will be so happy to be done with going to class, writing pointless papers and working unnecessarily hard on "group" projects but at the same time part of me isn't sure if I'm ready to be done. Is it really time for me to move on? Did I do all of the things I was hoping to do? Ah!

While thinking about the aforementioned changes in life and also thinking about some of the things that have been happening in my personal life I came across this quote on another blog and it hit home with me.

God expects you to have enough faith, determination, and trust in Him to keep moving, keep living, keep rejoicing. He expects you not simply to face the future; He expects you to embrace and shape the future—to love it, rejoice in it, and delight in your opportunities.

God is eagerly waiting for the chance to answer your prayers and fulfill your dreams, just as He always has. But He can’t if you don’t pray, and He can’t if you don’t dream. In short, He can’t if you don’t believe. - Jeffrey R. Holland

So, as cliché as it sounds, I'm working on rejoicing, delighting, dreaming and believing. (That sounds even more cliché than I thought it would!) I promise I'll be back soon, with pictures even! Wooo!