We are never, ever getting back together

This one's for you Ashley

Moments ago* on my night stand: a water bottle, a bottle of coconut water, a thing of aloe vera juice, and cup leftover from Sonic and a half empty root beer bottle. Why am I not married? I've got many beverages to offer.

Also. Technology tried to ruin my life last night. "We went to a ward BBQ and promptly went home to stalk a variety of boys from the ward on Facebook. It's the natural order." (apparently Brittany was living a parallel life last night except she escaped disaster.) I decided to go through the second counselor's friend list since he's great at adding everyone as they move in. I shouldn't be admitting this publicly. Huh. But as I'm looking through his friends list I see that he is friends with a guy I dated a few years ago and am no longer Facebook friends with who is now happily married. So in curiosity I click on his picture. But I'm using my phone. And it says I have to tap to reload the page. In a slow motion moment of terror the page reloads as my thumb is descending and I happen to land on the "send friend request" button. And it sent. How do you explain that? I look like a creeper. And I guess that I was doing some Facebook stalking so I am somewhat of a creeper but I swear I'm not as creepy as I look to this former boy who would never evolve into a long term relationship. Sigh.
This is my triumphant return to blogging.




*And by moments ago I mean I'm going to go clean it up now.

With my eyes open

Hunger Games. And these are just the leftovers.

Three little birds

Sometimes leftover birthday balloons make excellent drawing boards for cute boys to explain how DNA works.

I'm totally an expert now.

No time for cameras

Life lately:

• I really have the best friends. I think I usually say that after I've had a hard time and have felt their support but that's not the case this time. I am just loving my friends and having so much fun in life.
• My room is a disaster. I had such high hopes at the beginning of the year for organization. Right now I'm sitting so that I can't see the floor. It makes me feel better. I've gotten rid of a bunch of old clothes lately though and that is oddly cathartic.
• I have a new journaling system that makes my heart happy and I can actually keep up with it. 
• My camera is broken and therefore my heart is broken too. Somehow the screen got smashed despite me keeping it in that protective case I accidentally stole from Rene Tate 6 years ago.
• I am seeing some beauty in elitism (thank you LR) and yesterday joined several exclusive clubs. I am most excited for book club and breakfast club. Probably most excited about breakfast club because we're making shirts and I'm a fan of anything that involves shirts. Also this conversation happened:
• R: We should start a super exclusive club. Just the two of us.
• Me: What's the theme of our club?
• R: It's about how we like each other.
• Me: That's called a relationship Randy.
• The last two weeks have started with a one am trip to the hospital cafe for foot long corn dogs and magic sodas. I hope this becomes a tradition. My new Cafe West favorite employee is Lydia who told me I could stand in front of the soda machine and try as many kinds of soda as I wanted.
• I start ukulele lessons tomorrow. Super excited about that.

We'll use our eyes instead

I think Liz Redd is one of the few people who will appreciate how happy I was to receive this birthday balloon.

Sitting on top of the world

I will get this child to love me. Someday.

Yes sir I'm cut from a different cloth

We're not the best chinchilla babysitters...

You better watch out...

Ain't nobody who can comfort me

Upon handing her medications to her with my left hand one of my girls said: Where's your ring? Aren't you married?
Me: No...
She: I thought you were married! 
Me: No dear I am very, very single.
She: Well you should be married. I thought you were married! You look like someone who should be married!

Greetings loved ones...

I am wearing a (thin) cardigan and I'm not hot! Few things could make me happier. I have a sudden urge to bake pumpkin flavored things. Bring on the fall.

I open my eyes

I can't decide which is worse...

Sunday's horrible dream

OR

Monday's fantastic dream that isn't happening.

Thoughts?

If I was a blade I'd shave you smooth

I know you came to the internet today hoping to see a picture of my foot. I'm happy to provide one.

Tiny bubbles

Maybe it's only funny to me.


Girl: Jodi! What do you do when you don't have any clean underwear?
Me:...laundry?

It's all uncharted

 So, once upon a  time I made a list of 26 things I wanted to do this year. How about an update?

1. Read the Book of Mormon - I still need to work on this. Oops.
2. Do that one thing in that one place - Done! Quite pleased with this one. It deserves a separate post.
3. Redesign the blog - Done. I'm not terribly thrilled with the results but I also don't really care that much.
4. Sew at least 4 items of clothing - Yeah, I should start on that. Maybe some fall skirts?
5. Have my entire room completely clean at the same time - I'm counting those three days in March when I cleaned for my mom and sister's visit.
6. Bake 104 things - Oh boy. Yeah, I started out strong on this but then certain things (people) distracted me. This won't be happening.
7. Take 4 hobby related classes - One down, three to go.
8. Take more pictures - This was a vague goal. Maybe I'm doing it?
9. Meet Kyle Beckerman - Still working on this one. Please let this happen.
10. Become a tourist in my own state - Slowly doing this. Not enough to call it good.
11. Host a party a month - Nope. Also not happening.
12. Learn to run - I sure think about this a lot. It can still happen.
13. Find a third lantern for that one corner in my room - Still looking.
14. Blog 10x a month - Ha.
15. Go camping - I'm making this happen in September.
16. Read one book per month - I would have to actually count but I think I'm close. Especially if I get to just count the total of books read instead of the month in which I read them.
17. Index 6,000 names - 350 down, 5650 to go. I actually feel okay about this one still considering I did all 350 of those names yesterday afternoon.
18. Sell something at the farmers market - Not yet.
19. Visit a new state - Not yet.
20. Make handmade lemonade - Not yet.
21. Check out Timp cave - Not yet. I should have gone with the girls last week.
22. Attend 5 concerts - Almost! I just counted four and I have several more lined up.
23. Spend at least a day working with Habitat for Humanity - Not yet.
24. Go to the Salt Flats - Nope
25. Go to another roller derby - Not yet. Soon?
26. Let my family know how much I love them - I don't know how to measure this. Maybe?

In summary, I haven't done much. The interesting thing to me is the things that have happened so far this year that I would have never imagined. I've learned so much and much of that learning has happened the hard way. That's all I have to say about that for now.

Make a brand new sound

Today I'm grateful for beautiful canyons, beautiful weather and a day off. Plus a wonderful friend who suggested we utilize all of those things to have a leisurely afternoon of reading in the shade. Hooray for summer.

Woke up with a new tattoo...

I would like to introduce you to someone special in my life. I'm kind of obsessed even after 3 years.

It's time to say goodbye to turning tables

"I have come to the frightening conclusion that I am the decisive element. It is my personal approach that creates the climate. It is my daily mood that makes the weather. I possess tremendous power to make life miserable or joyous. I can be a tool of torture or an instrument of inspiration, I can humiliate or humor, hurt or heal. In all situations, it is my response that decides whether a crisis is escalated or de-escalated, and a person is humanized or de-humanized. If we treat people as they are, we make them worse. If we treat people as they ought to be, we help them become what they are capable of becoming." -Goethe



I am the decisive element.

I think I wanna marry you

Last night I had a dream wherein my wedding reception was held in a gas station that the groom's parents  owned. We had it there because his parents thought everyone would enjoy picking out their "refreshments". Our receiving line was in front of the beer cooler because hey! we're Mormon so no one needed in there. I had no idea who the groom was.

Last weekend was my coworker's wedding reception. This weekend was 2 days of wedding celebration for my favorite cousin. Two of my roommates are engaged. I'm the maid of honor for a set of friends who are getting married in April. Several other friends are planning weddings all around me.  I'm quite happy for everyone but if I keep having weird wedding dreams that happiness might fade pretty quickly.

Be careful what you do, don't go around breaking young girls' hearts

If you follow college basketball at all you know who Jimmer Fredette is.
If you read my blog at all you know that I fall hard for aliens.
What you don't yet know is how these two things are related and why BYU owes me a thank you letter.
 To enlighten you I would like to share a song written and performed by one of my work girls. (The homeless one for those who know.)

Havier is Not My Lover

Jimmer was a man

Wha was well loved in this town

He had a fancy car and he would drive it around

Jimmer was a star - a star in Basketball

Seemingly the man, yeah he seemed to have it all

But Jimmer actually had a secret that was bad

it was so crazy-mad

the secret that he had

OH! Jimmer is in love with Jodi Leynse.

He's an alien in disguise

Jimmer's in love with Jodi Leynse

His whole life is full of lies

Havier is not my lover!

It's really Jimmer, yeah.

Havier is not my lover!

It's really Jimmer, yeah.

People, this song is GOOD.

Cooking raw with the Brooklyn boy

So, I went on the work snow mobile trip again this year and learned a very important lesson that I wish to impart to any soul so lucky as to read this blog. May my experience be a lesson to all.

Ahem.

If you happen to embark on a weekend trip to a cabin surrounded by at least four feet of snow and then upon entering your cabin find that in a basement window well two skunks have become stuck by said snow I plead with you to follow your initial instinct to call animal services. By all means do not send two clients and an intern to dig out the snow, remove the grate and place a board to act as a ramp from the window well to save the skunks. This will undoubtedly anger the skunks because they lack the higher brain functioning that would allow them to know you are there to help and not harm them. Even if the skunks do not spray your clients and the intern they WILL still spray. You will then realize just how non-airtight the window wells of older cabins are as every item you brought with you will soak in the stench despite locating your belongings as far away in the cabin as it is physically possible to locate them. This might induce headaches, fuzzy thinking or at least a strong desire to ultimate punch every skunk in the world. In any case it is helpful to note that the laundromat by Cafe Rio has free dryers until 3pm because you will want to wash out your sleeping bags. And your pillow. And anything else remotely porous*.

You are welcome.


*You will be surprised to find out how many of your belongings are porous.