I cannot text you with a drink in my hand, eh?

Texts worth remembering:

• Oh Miss Jodi. What have you gotten me into.
  
• Logical. Motivational. Inspirational. I like it!
• They give me awkward anxiety.
• I was made to understand there were grilled cheese sandwiches here.
• She hase a tummy ack.
• I do have a tumy ack!
• Kid in class today said, "men are anal(ly?) dependent on their mothers." Professor said, "gross."
• I have become Scott's Jodi for the evening. I have a feeling I'm going to want to kill him by the end of the night.
• You have just filled my soul with a strange combination of rage, envy, love and admiration.
• Oh yes your mother does know how to text! You may think yo momma stupid but she not! (From my mother of course)
• It's like the cereal Special K!
• I see. So Gunther is then the obvious choice.
• Word of the night: Insected. Meaning felt like an insect.
  
• I just discovered a sleeping spell in ____'s stuff. She wrote it down.
  
• So ______ says she is completely torn between Mormonism and being a Wicken. Three cheers for magic powers!

And, to conclude, a picture I sent myself from the work phone to my own phone of the two Emu's I had to herd back to their home using just my body: