Saturday, February 27, 2010

If you don't scrub that kitchen floor, you ain't gonna rock and roll no more

A cautionary tale (mostly to myself):

So, today I decided to (try to) do something nice. You see, my roommates are great people but aren't so great at doing the dishes and keeping things clean. I thought that perhaps if I cleaned the whole kitchen and we had a small roommate meeting that then, maybe, it would be like a fresh start. Perhaps people would feel more inclined to keep things clean if they started out clean.

I did all the dishes. That was fine.
I emptied the trash. That was also fine.
I put away stray appliances.
I wiped down the toaster and other things that would remain on the counter.
I wiped down the counters. All fine.

Then I notice that the side of the stove could use a little wipe down and I figure it probably hasn't been swept under in a while so I decide to pull it out. I also lift up the top of the stove to clean under the burners. (I didn't know that people didn't know you could do that...) NOT fine. Apparently no one has pulled the stove out in several years. There is mold from some sort of water damage, lots of cereal, a pizza pan and a whole lot of dust. Oh, and one of those sponge things you put in water that grows into a surprise shape, this one is a dinosaur. I nearly vomited. Under the top of the stove there is some sort of goo that would explain why the kitchen stinks anytime I try to cook.

I also thought it would be a good idea to pull out the refrigerator and clean under and behind it. There are about 37 boxes of cereal on top of our refrigerator plus a few bottles of soda left over from random parties. As I'm moving the refrigerator a bottle of Coke falls and is impaled on the grate on the back of the refrigerator. Immediately soda is everywhere.

I've mopped up the soda from the floor, wall and refrigerator and I am now waiting for that to dry so I can do the actual mopping. I started this project almost two hours ago and the end is still a far way off.

I write this not to complain but to remind myself that next time I'm feeling the urge to be nice maybe I should turn and run in the opposite direction. Also, feel free to come over anytime. The kitchen will be very clean!

Thursday, February 11, 2010

Tick tock, you're not a clock

Not much explanation needed.

1 phone book.

2 phone books.

3 phone books.

Uh, me.

A truck.


Monday, February 8, 2010

Maybe in the future you're gonna come back

Maybe I have a new fish and he's still alive!

Maybe I don't know what to name him.

Maybe I can't really talk about him publicly yet because....

Maybe I got him at the same time I got 20 feeder fish which I...

Maybe put in a certain someone's bathtub and

Maybe he hasn't figured out it was me yet.

Maybe I am okay with not getting credit but most likely I'm

Maybe not so okay with that, which is why

Maybe I'm plotting a 2nd prank.

Maybe I would welcome your suggestions.

Just maybe.

Monday, February 1, 2010

Blame it all on my roots, I showed up in boots

typewriter key letter I D letter a letter H letter O

I went to Idaho this weekend and had a great time. There will be a more legit, wordy post with pictures soon but I wanted to throw together a list of things I don't want to forget so I wouldn't...forget them. It's okay if they make no sense to you, they make my heart happy.

  • Druve
  • Ring, ring, ring... banana phone!
  • Scary rabbits
  • "This isn't fun."
  • Riding the bull
  • "Olives offend me."
  • "I too like to experiment with shake flavors!" and the subsequent "I too____" statements.
  • The lemon shake
  • Gas station burritos
  • Coconut M&Ms
  • The parade
  • Almost falling off the float and being called out via loudspeaker
  • Wet suits and cowboy boots
  • Meaningful converstation
  • The communal yurt dressing room
  • Kicking some serious ass at Mario Kart
  • Becoming a "pro" wii bowler and the resulting shoulder ache
  • Myth Busters
  • Plenty of rafting stories
  • "Is that baaaaaad?"
  • Kind people
  • Teva and Hurley
  • Spiderman and Wolverine
  • The "bad guy". Also, being woken up by "the bad guy is sleeping!"
  • Stoner tacos
  • Garth and Jonas
  • "You don't get on Spiderman!"
  • Legit. Absolutely.
  • "Do you give back rubs?"