Monday, March 14, 2011

I think I wanna marry you

Last night I had a dream wherein my wedding reception was held in a gas station that the groom's parents  owned. We had it there because his parents thought everyone would enjoy picking out their "refreshments". Our receiving line was in front of the beer cooler because hey! we're Mormon so no one needed in there. I had no idea who the groom was.

Last weekend was my coworker's wedding reception. This weekend was 2 days of wedding celebration for my favorite cousin. Two of my roommates are engaged. I'm the maid of honor for a set of friends who are getting married in April. Several other friends are planning weddings all around me.  I'm quite happy for everyone but if I keep having weird wedding dreams that happiness might fade pretty quickly.

Be careful what you do, don't go around breaking young girls' hearts

If you follow college basketball at all you know who Jimmer Fredette is.
If you read my blog at all you know that I fall hard for aliens.
What you don't yet know is how these two things are related and why BYU owes me a thank you letter.
 To enlighten you I would like to share a song written and performed by one of my work girls. (The homeless one for those who know.)

Havier is Not My Lover

Jimmer was a man
Wha was well loved in this town
He had a fancy car and he would drive it around

Jimmer was a star - a star in Basketball
Seemingly the man, yeah he seemed to have it all

But Jimmer actually had a secret that was bad
it was so crazy-mad
the secret that he had

OH! Jimmer is in love with Jodi Leynse.
He's an alien in disguise
Jimmer's in love with Jodi Leynse
His whole life is full of lies

Havier is not my lover!
It's really Jimmer, yeah.
Havier is not my lover!
It's really Jimmer, yeah.

People, this song is GOOD.

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Cooking raw with the Brooklyn boy

So, I went on the work snow mobile trip again this year and learned a very important lesson that I wish to impart to any soul so lucky as to read this blog. May my experience be a lesson to all.


If you happen to embark on a weekend trip to a cabin surrounded by at least four feet of snow and then upon entering your cabin find that in a basement window well two skunks have become stuck by said snow I plead with you to follow your initial instinct to call animal services. By all means do not send two clients and an intern to dig out the snow, remove the grate and place a board to act as a ramp from the window well to save the skunks. This will undoubtedly anger the skunks because they lack the higher brain functioning that would allow them to know you are there to help and not harm them. Even if the skunks do not spray your clients and the intern they WILL still spray. You will then realize just how non-airtight the window wells of older cabins are as every item you brought with you will soak in the stench despite locating your belongings as far away in the cabin as it is physically possible to locate them. This might induce headaches, fuzzy thinking or at least a strong desire to ultimate punch every skunk in the world. In any case it is helpful to note that the laundromat by Cafe Rio has free dryers until 3pm because you will want to wash out your sleeping bags. And your pillow. And anything else remotely porous*.

You are welcome.

*You will be surprised to find out how many of your belongings are porous.