Wow. You know it's time to go to bed when you find yourself shaking the computer while muttering "what does that mean!?"
I've found myself entrenched in moments of extreme girly-ness lately. And by girly-ness I mean self doubt. Maybe it is unfair of me to call that girly. I have an uncanny ability to find the one thing that has gone wrong and focus solely on that one thing. Sometimes it's not even something that has gone wrong per se, but something that's not ideal or something I'm just being impatient and unreasonable about. Whatever it is I believe that the one thing that isn't quite right outweighs all of the things that are right. Usually I catch myself rather quickly and am able to realize that when given the option of many mental paths I could choose to travel down I have taken the one that is most dramatic. Once I catch myself I return to being as rational as possible. Surely I am not the only one who does this.
I have assembled, or rather I've been blessed with, a team of friends that tells me when I'm being stupid. When I was having a moment the other day the friend I happened to be talking to said "he's just being a boy, you're just being a girl, and it's okay." While not extremely profound this was an incredibly appropriate statement and it turned on the appropriate light bulb upstairs. Another friend just says "are you kidding me, _________!" and she proceeds to set me straight. I don't know how to appropriately communicate to these friends how important their words of wisdom are to me. Left to my own devices, without them, I don't want to imagine what disasters I would cause myself.
So now, with less shaking I will resume looking at the computer and still want to know "what does that mean?!" But this time I'm going to take it a little less personally.
Oh, Jodi...you are SO not alone. Trust me. Sometimes being rational is very overrated. Or maybe I'm retarded. Who knows? I guess I just figure that irrational and dramatic self doubt is simply a part of being female. It's in our genetic code. And if you did not have these moments I would be extremely worried.
ReplyDeletei completely agree with the above comment.
ReplyDeletei'm loving the titles of your posts. well at least you HAVE drama to be dramatic over! also, i'm excited for thursday, and you should be too.
ReplyDeleteOh I heart you Jods! Things are always more interesting when others aren't being rational. Remember that you are loved and try to be patient. ;) See you manana!
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