Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Honesty blogging

Sometimes I like to check in with myself to see how I'm doing, see if I'm making the right decisions. I think this is healthy, at least to an extent. Excessively worrying about if I'm making the right decision sounds terrible but I would also hate to wake up one day and realize that if I had just stopped to think for a moment I wouldn't be so far down a path that I actually hate and shouldn't be on.

Tonight I had a check in with myself moment. I literally thought "am I making the right decision?" My gut says yes. Well, I think so. I know for sure my gut is not saying no. Sometimes though I slip into the "what if" mindset and think "what if I'm making a horrible mistake?"

I hate that. I hate that sometimes self doubt sneaks in and so quickly makes me rethink pretty much everything in my life. I am not an incredibly patient person. I'm trying to be patient but I hate knowing that for some questions I can only wait and see. My life right now is full of so many options, so many choices. In some ways this is really exciting but in other ways I know that by making one choice I'm essentially choosing not to do certain things. Sometimes that choice is reversible but so often it's a permanent choice and that scares me a tiny bit.

Wow. This might be really random but this is what I'm thinking at 2:26 AM.

1 comment:

  1. Not awkward, I love it! I do this sometimes also and I think it is very health. I don't know how much that means coming from me. Heart You!