Blog reading friends, I've wanted to tell you the story of my April Fool's day but the task of typing it all up in some clever form seemed daunting. Today though Melissa needed a story so I told her the April Fool's story and figured I would just copy and paste it here for you to read as well. It is also important to note that later in the story I mention opening the shower door to talk to my roommate. I am not a creeper, please remember this. My apartment is unique in that my roommate and I share a shower that opens into each of our rooms. When Heather and I lived together we would occasionally open the shower doors and chat while we did our own thing in our individual rooms. It's odd to have showers like this, I'm well aware, but this fact seemed essential to me not looking creepy. Thank you.
I need some entertainment
tell me a funny story
do you know about Scott pranking me?
only a little
I do need the whole story
I don't know when I told you a little. I still want to kill him a little. Or a lot. Anyway..,
Last Wed I worked 9a-12p and when I came home I was tired. And I needed to pee.
So, as I enter my room bee-lining for the bathroom I note that the things in my windowsill are askew.
This concerns me but not as much as my desire to relieve myself does. So I use the toilet and wash my hands.
Because I'm the kind of person who washes their hands even when no one is looking
(I just remembered when I told you about the prank...)
But, as I go to dry my hands on my beloved hand towel I find that it is SOPPING wet.
With peeing out of the way I can start to really worry. I look closer at the window and find that not only is stuff moved around a little but there is what looks like a muddy foot print too.
To exhaust all other options I decide to ask my roommates if they opened the window for some reason. Perhaps there was a repair man for something that needed to use my window? Maybe something was leaking? Maybe they needed my towel for some reason?
I knock on Rachel's door because she is the most obviously awake. She says she doesn't know anything about the window. Right then Chala comes home and I ask her as well. She seems tired/pissed and a little evasive but not enough to send up a giant red flag. Just a tiny tiny red flag.
Christine's TV had been on moments before and was now off but I figured she wasn't asleep yet so I knocked. She not only doesn't know what happened but is very concerned for me and comes in to help investigate.
I'm kinda freaking out at this point. A. I'm super tired. B. Someone had to have broken into my apartment right?
So I spend a great deal of time being freaked out but wondering why all valuables are still intact and nothing else seems to be touched. Then, and I still can't remember why, I open the shower doors to say something to Rachel through the shower.
As I do I'm met by a trap of water balloons. Only one breaks outside the shower, a few break inside the shower and a few are unbroken.
So Rachel starts laughing and admits that when she came home earlier in the day she found a tall man hiding in her room. When she asked him what he was doing there he said he was pulling an April Fool's prank on me.
Through some research (opening the ward directory) we determine that "tall man" is Scott. I'm immediately furious and cracking up a the same time.
I take one of the smaller unbroken balloons and throw it at his bedroom window which of course does nothing.
I had to have revenge and it had to happen that night. I decide I will tie Scott in his room so when he wakes up in the morning he can't get out.
As I am preparing my rope and scissors and attitude of vengeance I hear Rachel and Christine talking and Christine telling Rachel that she really should tell me about something.
I calmly (this is a lie) demand to know what they are talking about and Rachel informs me that there is dye in the shower head. The thing about Wednesday night is that I didn't get off work until midnight and the next day I have a conference up in the mountains and I have to meet my carpool people at 6:50 am.
I take a moment and consider what would have happened had I showered early in the morning and been covered in dye. I believe it would have involved a complete emotional breakdown.
These are the reasons I hate April Fool's Day
I would not have handled this well
I was pretty furious.
It was a little funny too but I was pretty angry. And I was so worked up that I wouldn't have been able to sleep right away then anyway.
So I take my rope and scissors and force Christine to come with me to Scott's apartment (which I discovered was unlocked when I had gone to throw the balloon). Christine didn't want to come but I was worried someone would wake up and I thought it would be far less creepy to find two girls in the hallway rather than just one.
Christine brings a large water balloon that didn't pop in my shower and we put it in their fridge so it will fall when they open it.
I first tie the front two rooms together and cut the rope. Then as I try to tie the back two rooms together I find out my rope is maybe three inches too short. This makes me very happy since I had plenty of rope at home and could have had enough had I been a little smarter. But whatever. So I tie the back two rooms together only I have to be really careful because it's harder to tie the rope without the extra part on the end plus, Cook is awake and I have to be extra quiet.
as soon as i realized someone was awake I would have left
if I even made it that far..
Well I'm so mad that I can't let it go. Something has to be done.
So I take the smaller rope and tie Quintin's door to the pantry door. The only problem being that Quintin isn't home. I know he's at Molly's and I just hope he spends the whole night there.
I'm so tired at this point. It's almost 2 am and I have to get up between 5:30 and 6. As I get home Quintin texts me and just says "Funny."
I make it clear to him that my beef is with Scott and I ask for his help keeping Scott in his room to which he agrees.
The next morning Scott calls me at 8
He tells me he knows I tied him in his room because I mentioned that I was considering doing the same to Quintin. I tell him I don't care if he knows it was me because I wasn't trying to keep a secret or prank him, I was only trying to get him back for what he had done to me. He lies and says he doesn't know what I'm talking about and OH! suddenly he's made it to class and has to go.
He continues to lie to me throughout the day via text message. So ridiculous.
I was at the conference for 14 hours on 2.5 hours of sleep and I was not having any of it.
So that's pretty much it. I called him out but not directly on Friday night by going to his apartment and telling Cook I had a story to tell him. I told him everything that had happened and Scott kept jumping in and making comments but I would shush him and keep going. He then tried to announce that we were now in a prank war and tried to lay out the ground rules for the war.
Which is totally not how that's supposed to happen. Fool. I told him, and I still believe, he doesn't know what he's getting himself into by messing with me. I'm a mastermind.
So what's your next step?
I'm not sure.
He tried telling me that he gets to strike next since I struck last.
THAT'S NOT HOW IT WORKS!
that's not how it works
he obviously does not know how this prank thing works
Also, let it be known that Chala was the one who let him in and he never actually came through the window. That was all planted to make it look like he had.
His whole plan was for no one but Chala to know and he did the window to cover for that part.
He is clever but not so smart.