I'm too excited to be creative with a title for this post

PEOPLE WHO READ MY BLOG! (All two of you...) I'm now super famous and in a commercial. This soccer season I fell in love with Real Salt Lake. For what would end up being the last playoff game we went all out with with face paints and the like. See if you can find me! My friend Dustin is the guy yelling at the very end. I painted his face.

I wanted love, I needed love

I feel like it is finally safe to post these. For about a month someone was trying to sell my truck.

The first time it was a funny joke.
The second time (a thousand dollars less asking price) not as funny.
The third time not funny at all.

Every time I would wash my windows someone would come back the next day and my truck (complete with terrible grammar) was for sale again. These are pictures of the second time it was for sale. The third time was the worst especially when I got stuck in traffic on my way to work and had 5 phone calls, 3 texts and 1 man follow me to the parking lot at work.



It would have been funnier if it happened to someone else. Actually, someone wrote on Danny's car something to the effect of "Lonely "cougars" call ______" and "Baby maker" and that was hilarious.

Moral of the story is: if you're looking for a good prank, put someone's car for sale using window paint. But not mine. That's been done before.

I cannot text you with a drink in my hand, eh?

Texts worth remembering:

• Oh Miss Jodi. What have you gotten me into.
  
• Logical. Motivational. Inspirational. I like it!
• They give me awkward anxiety.
• I was made to understand there were grilled cheese sandwiches here.
• She hase a tummy ack.
• I do have a tumy ack!
• Kid in class today said, "men are anal(ly?) dependent on their mothers." Professor said, "gross."
• I have become Scott's Jodi for the evening. I have a feeling I'm going to want to kill him by the end of the night.
• You have just filled my soul with a strange combination of rage, envy, love and admiration.
• Oh yes your mother does know how to text! You may think yo momma stupid but she not! (From my mother of course)
• It's like the cereal Special K!
• I see. So Gunther is then the obvious choice.
• Word of the night: Insected. Meaning felt like an insect.
  
• I just discovered a sleeping spell in ____'s stuff. She wrote it down.
  
• So ______ says she is completely torn between Mormonism and being a Wicken. Three cheers for magic powers!

And, to conclude, a picture I sent myself from the work phone to my own phone of the two Emu's I had to herd back to their home using just my body:

Thunder and lightening, very very frightening

I almost didn't make it today. On day two. Oops. I have a headache now, probably from the high bun I've been working all day (an AZN bun to you Piz). Was your day as delightful as mine today? If I could just take out the 45 minutes I was on the phone with Comcast it would have been near perfect. As is tradition I had a conference breakfast with friends, watched both sessions and then during the priesthood session of conference some great ladies and I went up the canyon to toast a few marshmallows and starburts. I'm just going to say that I believe we got the fire started more efficiently without any boys there.

I'm in the war of my life, at the door of my life

Today is such a glorious day, no?

Today is Friday!
Today is October!
Today is the kick off to General Conference weekend!

To celebrate October (an Oktoberfest of sorts...except not) I am going to post every day. Seriously.

Happy Friday/October/kick off to GC! I recommend you celebrate by watching this:

I don't tell anyone about the way you hold my hand

Just a friendly reminder as you head into the weekend:

These days it comes and goes

ALSO!

One week from today I will be mere feet away from this man:

Couldn't be happier about that!

Italian spaghetti, singing falsetto

What a difference a week makes!

My room is still somewhat of a disaster but I did get rid of that extra stuff and felt like I was being charitable while doing it. Bonus! Extra double score bonus: I have awesome roommates. I still am in that awkward space in time where I feel like I'm sneaking around someone's apartment but that feeling is gradually fading.

Some people still suck but that's a given with life. Some boys (some) are brainless but I am trying to remember that so I'm not as affected by them in the moment. Easier said than done sometimes.

Best of all though is that work did not destroy my will to live! (As evidenced by...) I was actually somewhat shocked to realize how much I missed working. I was tackled as I came in through the door by a few girls and I'm guessing there are few people in this world who don't like the feeling that someone missed them and is excited to see them. The camping trip was fantastic. There was some extreme sleep deprivation but the trip definitely exceeded my expectations in many ways. The best part of the best part is that I got PROMOTED! I've been anxious about this for a while and it is such a relief to have that anxiety resolved. Hooray for that.

If you're reading this you're very likely one of my friends. Thank you for your support. I sure do love you people.

Math, science, history, unraveling the mysteries

I returned from my yearly adventure in the great state of Wisconsin last night. The trip was fantastic and included camel riding, chocolate covered bacon eating, card playing, a little family history-ing, hairnet wearing and general family merriment-ing.

I did not eat any bratwursts however and this might mean the trip was incomplete.

It's possible I had a small breakdown at the airport when parting ways with my mom and sister. I'm not really ready to be back and involved in normal life. I just moved and my room is not quite a complete disaster but needs a whole lot of unpacking and organizing. When I walked into my room last night I found that my previous roommates had dropped off any unclaimed items in what little empty floor space I had before my trip. I had to move out a few days before them to go to Wisconsin and so they left everything in my room. 98% of those things were not mine and now I get to take them to DI and the Utah Food Bank.

I don't want to deal with people and their drama. Somehow that didn't just disappear while I was in the land of cheese.

This week at work could potentially destroy my will to live. Between today and next Sunday I'll clock at least 72 hours of working time and 48 of those will be spent on a camping trip I still need to prepare for.

At the pleading of my mother I've sort of taken this morning "off" and forced myself to have a relaxed/lazy day. This is harder than I thought it would be. Every so often I have an anxious moment where I realize how much there is to be done. It doesn't help that I'm sitting on my bed and can't help but see the mountains of things to be unpacked. But I'm trying. And by that I mean in a few minutes I'll shower and go into work early to help get some things ready for the camping trip. That counts as relaxing right? Right? Oh well.

Neanderthals developed tools

Hello! I kind of suck at blogging lately. No need to carry on about that though. I decided I'm going to try this 5 Question Friday thing I found. (You should do it too!) This might work or, knowing me, this could be the only week it happens. We'll see kids!

1. Did you have a favorite blanket or toy as a kid? If so, do you still have it?

I had Mousie. Mousie was a giant stuffed mouse who (if I am recalling correctly) wore a plaid dress. A few years ago we found Mousie while sorting through some old stuff. Mom showed me where she had reattached several of Mousie's body parts over the years. I'm keeping Mousie (stored away) to hopefully show my progeny.

2. Do you dream in color?
I'm going to say yes. I am not sure I've really noticed but I think if my dreams were black and white I would have noticed that. When I woke up on Wednesday I had just dreamed about going to the gym. This made it hard to get up and actually go to the gym. Too bad dream workouts don't count.

3. How tall are you? Do you wish you were shorter or taller?
I am officially 5'7" and YES I do wish I was a little taller. I'm actually a little angry about that. My dad was very tall and while growing up the Dr. always told me that according to the growth charts I was going to be 5'9". In high school I hit 5'7" and just stopped. I feel somewhat robbed of my deserved height. I also have diagnosed myself with Body Dismorphic Disorder because when I meet guys who are around 6' I think I'm just a little bit shorter than them. A guy I dated for a while sometimes called me "shorty". Clearly that relationship worked out...

4. If you could have anyone's (celeb or other) voice as the guide on your GPS, who would it be?
Absolutely without a doubt Morgan Freeman. I think he has the most wonderful voice of any human being. I don't really care about penguins but I would put on March of the Penguins, lay on the floor and just listen to Morgan Freeman. Mmmm. Is it any wonder he played God in Bruce Almighty and Evan Almighty? No.

5. Do you return your shopping cart to the corral or leave it wherever in the parking lot?
I should probably utilize carts more. I have this problem where I go into the store thinking that because I only need a few things I'll just carry them in my arms or, if I know I need several things, I get a basket. This always starts out fine but before long I've amassed too many items to make either of these methods effective ways of carrying my items to be purchased. I almost always drop things. Anyway, carts... I should use them more. I would say I put them back in the corral about 95.7% of the time.

The smell of wine and cheap perfume

I'm choosing Midnight Train.

(Stolen from Reyna)

Ole! Ole ole ole! Real! Salt Lake!

A few weeks ago I went to my first (meaning it won't be the last) Real Salt Lake game. I had forgotten how much I love soccer and being at the game made it all the more exciting. The crowd at the Real game was CRAZY. Now we've been watching the World Cup and I'm loving that even more. I'm absolutely cheering for the US and the Netherlands (it's possible my car is decorated in orange paint declaring my love for the Nehterlands. Dutch people are awesome.) and I'm dying to get my very on vuvuzela. Anyway...

It was a fun day with this crazy cast of characters:

Plus cousin Derek was in town. Bonus!

Oh Dirrty Dutch...

We may have really loved the naughty cheers from the fans in front of us.

Thunderbolt and lightning, very, very frightening

Dear Provo friends,

Have any of you been to SLABpizza yet? It is tasty tasty. Normally the SLABs aren't sliced into thirds but the roommates and I were indecisive so we shared. This particular day we tried the rosemary potato and bacon, the Thai chicken, and the fennel sausage and chivre. We've tried a few other kinds since and haven't been disappointed. I think the rosemary potato and bacon is my favorite.

You should go and eat.

You should also follow them on Twitter and Facebook. Why? Because they give a free traditional pizza away daily on their Twitter and a premium pizza away weekly on their Facebook page.

You can thank me buy treating me to a SLAB anytime.

Love,
Jodi

Swindle

Last Sunday in church Bishop talked with us about the dangers of pornography and encouraged us to evaluate the things in our individual apartments to see if we felt we should change anything.

Since we're kinda dorky we "fixed" this picture of our friend Swindle. I don't think he's ever looked better.

Your body is a wonderland

My small friend Corinne shared this wedding invite with me and I can't keep it to myself. I blurred out the names of the people but they probably don't deserve it.


PLEASE share your thoughts.

Shot through the heart and you're to blame

Last Thursday I went shooting with these people:

We shot at these things that we found in the wild (and a few of our own that be brought):



It was a lovely day...

(That tiny one closest to the center? Mine!)

...until Jeron showed us how he likes to pretend to be a terrorist when he plays airsoft. (I'm not joking.) He showed us how to tie a head wrap and then demonstrated how he "plays terrorist". Then we went home. No one was willing to stay after that.

I was born in the arms of imaginary friends

Well, I guess I get what I ask for. I lamented not having pictures of anything fun and now I've got about 11 picture laden posts lined up. Let's start with the best thing that has happened to me in awhile.

Before:

After:I've been needing a haircut for longer than I'm comfortable admitting and I'm practically in LOVE with the girl who cut it. She was hilarious and really talented. The best part? I got lessons on how to do my hair the right way. That sounds a little silly to say but it has made a huge difference. If you need a new hair person let me know and I'll hook you up.

We can dress real neat from our hats to our feet

Have you ever eaten a cupcake from Mini's Cupcakes in Salt Lake? (Also located in Sugarhouse) They're baked from scratch using local ingredients, delicious and almost too beautiful to eat.

The "Breakfast at Tiffany's" cupcake. Mmmm...

It also helps that a gorgeous man works at their Salt Lake location. I think when I open my bakery someday I'll try to include a gorgeous man. Maybe even two.

In this maze you can lose your way

Random thoughts collected:

• Saturday I went from a tea party straight to a roller derby. Can you have a more radical change than that?
• I now want to be in a roller derby. I'm working on figuring out my derby name.
  
• If I'm wearing sweatpants around you it's because I like you. So, to everyone who came over to my apartment Sunday night, I like you.
• I've had my favorite pair of sweats since my junior year of high school. That's a long time ago.
• The warmer weather has done a sneaky thing to my laundry basket. I think because the clothing required is less bulky I thought the laundry didn't need to be done yet. My underwear drawer would disagree.
• My friend Heather is going to Fiji very soon. Sounds like a fancy vacation right? It's not. She's going for the purpose of doing lots of service. Check out her Fiji blog here and maybe toss a few bucks her way.
  
• My friend Dustin is writing an educational blog on How to Marry a Tool. He's verbose but also intelligent and hilarious. Check it out, I recommend starting at the beginning. (ML, here's something new for you to do at work.)
• I need to get back in the mode of taking pictures. We do fun things around here I just don't happen to take pictures of them lately.
• That's pretty much it.
  

I've got a rocket

It's been a while since I posted any work quotes. Last night offered several good ones that kept me laughing.

While doing an obstacle course:
Girl 1 (blindfolded): How close are we?
Girl 2: We're about 85% of the way there so we've got about 25% left to go.


More obstacle coursing:
Girl 2: Put your feet in front of where your legs are.


While watching a documentary called 30 Days:
Girl 3: Day 25. So, 7 days left.

(On a different note 30 Days is a documentary by Morgan Spurlock who also made Super Size Me. In this one he and his fiance decide to see what its like to live making minimum wage and living under the poverty line. I thought it was very interesting and a good reminder of how blessed I've been in life and how some things could be changed to better help people rise out of poverty. It's worth a watch if you happen to find it.)

I'm still, I'm still an animal

I had my first bidet experience yesterday. I found it to be quite... refreshing. Also, the seat was heated and that was very pleasant.


All other bathroom experiences now seem inferior.


From this bidet experience came a wonderful "that's what she said" moment from coworker/friend Ashley: I had to wiggle around, it wasn't hitting me in the right spot.

(no photos. you're welcome.)

I can't stop loving you

I strongly believe Mondays would be more bearable if they all included John Mayer tickets.

On August 31st this is where I'll be: (Note the little star.)Here's a closer look of where we'll be sitting:

And here's a better idea of what will actually occur on the night of August 31st:

Perhaps I'll be making a paper chain. I'm excited.

Nothing standing in my way...

About a month ago I went snowmobiling for the first time. I have lots of pictures of (mostly) happy little girls that I can't show you. The trip was a success but my snowmobiling needs a little work. Out of 2 rides I got stuck 1.5 times. Unless you count when I cruised around the parking lot. That ride was flawless.

I also learned a group "ice skating" routine that has yet to be seen by the public. It's good to know I've got that available if I'm ever called on to suddenly perform.

There's a reason strong moves slow

Festival of Colors

In 2008 we stayed far away from the mosh pit craziness.
In 2009 we were in and out of the madness so fast the only pictures I got were in the car.
2010 brought possibly the worst parking experience but the most fun I've ever had at the festival despite being kicked in the head by a crowd surfer.


Before:

After:(Dan W, Zach, Mike, Josh, Becca, Leah, Chuck, Chala, Danny M, Brandon, Lisa, Christine and me!)

All the fun we had in between:

Danny's face changed colors about 8 times.
(I'm just now realizing that these three were all my doing. Oops? :) )

Leah and I are pretty cute.
Sometimes we couldn't breathe.
The boys protected us in the mosh pit.
Before the throwing actually started we had to sit down for some reason but there wasn't really room so we made a giant spoon.
Chuck was there.
Roommates!

I'm led to believe that the Festival of Colors never disappoints.
Also let's just say that a certain part of my body was dyed for about a week despite my exfoliating efforts.